The other highly offensive part of the movie is its complete lack of quality or production values. We've seen it all before in films like and , but it's possibly even less funny in Meet the Spartans. Even Greek society is given the obvious clichéd goose when Leonidas explains that women in his city are greeted with high fives, while men who meet exchange open mouth tongue kisses. Along with authoring articles for several family-oriented publications, she has written for Parent Previews for over 15 years. I watched in morbid I did survive. He leaves behind his queen Margo Carmen Electra , son Leo Jr.
In the film, men greet each other by French kissing actually shown once and the men greet women with a high-five. Are there better examples of spoofs? Synopsis: When Xerxes Ken Davitian , the evil god king of Persia, sends his massive army to Sparta, King Leonidas Sean Maguire and 13 strapping warriors rise up to defend their homeland. The storyline is thin, to say the least. In working to perfect this genre and own it, this is Seltz-berg's best attempt yet. How incredibly sad is that? If that sentence is true, then I must quickly run to my cave in the mountains, never to be seen again.
With his trusty Captain of the Guard Kevin Sorbo and his army of 12 other men including the Krispy Kreme®-devouring Dilio Jareb Dauplaise and the Captain's son, Sonio Travis Van Winkle he sets out to fend off an attack by Xerxes as foretold by the oracle. Plenty of cartoonish scenes that are violent nonetheless: A dog bites a man's testicles; a parent and child head-butt each other in the name of teaching the boy how to be a warrior ; a spear lances through a soldier while another charges and hits a rock face, plucking his eyes out; guns are shot, swords are drawn, and a man cracks his neck performing a break-dance move; blood oozes out of a man's face. Just guessing, but there must be a great gag reel floating around out there somewhere for there's no way these actors kept a straight face during many of the takes. No one aside from 14-year-old dweebs who've yet to know the touch of a woman will be laughing, however. Even a last act battle sequence that tries to replicate the slo-mo mayhem of Synder's direction looks paltry in comparison.
The not-so-mighty King Leonidas Sean Maguire faces the threat of an attack from Xerxes Ken Davitian and his Persian army. . Sure, the jokes were mostly pop culture references and even those were hit-and-miss, but honestly good comedy is hard to come by these days. It happened to Gerard Butler in the real 300 and it happens to Sean Maguire here. How do fans play into this frenzy? It would have been torture. Anyone would be stretched to find any true entertainment value in the movie. When Persian messenger Traitoro Diedrich Bader arrives to deliver a message from Persian King Xerxes Ken Davitian , who is trying to take over Sparta, Leonidas responds by kicking him into the pit of death.
Explicit sensual comments, profanities, derogatory statements and sexual-orientation jokes are also frequently used in the script. Only the unrated Pit of Death version of Meet The Spartans is releasing to Blu-ray Disc. This scene, touted as the funniest in the movie, was the dumbest and by far the most painful ten minutes I have ever experienced in my life. While better than their previous few films, Meet the Spartans, would rank well below the average mark. Although most of the violence is depicted with the same silliness as the rest of the movie, the most disturbing parts involved violence to a child and the depiction of killing unwanted, newborn babies. Beer brands, sandwich shops, and web sites are among the products plugged in random fashion throughout this film that, like its predecessors, drags snippets of recent theatrical releases on to the screen. Even more frightening is it guarantees another ass-blast similar to this one next year.
Leonidas' slutty queen, Margot Carmen Electra , remains behind in Sparta to get massages, deal with untrustworthy senator Traitoro Diedrich Bader and wow the elders with her short-short toga and stripper heels. Xerxes morphs into a transformer. Likewise for Kevin Sorbo who spends much of the film looking actually quite dignified. Although the Spartan Oracle, Ugly Betty Crista Flanagan , tells Leonidas that he will die if he goes to war, the king decides to recruit 300 of his finest Spartan warriors to help him defend the pass at Thermopylae against the Persian invaders. The movie itself actually runs only for 70 minutes. The unrated Pit of Death edition is available only in widescreen, with the following extras: an audio commentary by the cast and crew, Know Your Spartans Pop Culture trivia game, a gag reel, theatrical trailers, and three featurettes The Spartans: The Music, Prepare For Thrusting and Tour The Set With Ike Barinholtz.
The Persian warriors include Ghost Rider, Rocky Balboa, the Transformers, and a hunchbacked Paris Hilton. To say that is a spoof of is to suggest that there is some semblance of a storyline mocking that the 2007 blockbuster epic; I refuse to give it that much credit. He returns to his palace to be greeted by a Persian Emmissary Method Man whom informs him of the God King Xerxes's intentions to overrun and usurp Spartan law with his million man army. Updated July 17, 2017 Kerry Bennett is interested in media from both a journalist and parent perspective. Some things to know prior to settling down with a full combo meal: there's going to be a lot of slime spewed, there are going to be gross out jokes filled with squishy slime stuff, and some make-up transformed lepers are going to lick a young woman's cheek. With little plot to tie this hodgepodge of clips and cameos together, the steady barrage of coarse content often feels more like a torture treatment than entertainment.
First, something about the costume, hair, and beard change a man. If you haven't left the theater demanding a refund, then strap into your seat for a meaningless 70-minute descent. It never gets to the heart of why 300 was such a kitschy cult commodity, nor does it offer any real insight into the targets it's taking down. Banal bathroom comedy and derogatory remarks are packed in alongside profanities and an obviously bleeped sexual expletive. Home Video The most recent home video release of Meet the Spartans movie is June 2, 2008. In fact, calling it a 'film' is more praise than it deserves.
Born with biceps and the uncanny ability to survive all obstacles including an attack by a penguin , King Leonidas Sean Maguire is the leader of Sparta, a city-state in ancient Greece. In war, soldiers are run through with weapons, shot, beheaded, kicked in the groin and repeatedly beaten with a crowbar. They still suffer from over-do-it-itis, but their concept of the craft seems to be getting 'smarter'. I thought the Scary Movies were good for a laugh, but it is really obvious now that Friedberg and Setzer are utterly devoid of talent and were simply relying on the Wayans Brothers to cover for them. Which is, like, really funny if you're a normal, heterosexual guy, as long as you don't think too hard about why your favorite comic-book superheroes are built and dressed like gay pin-ups. I wish I could be a little more descriptive about how bad this movie was, but I seem to be at a loss for words.